Frozen Food Is Dangerous

I don't know what it is about my family, but whatever crises and mishaps could possibly ever occur always end up happening to us.

Three weeks ago my mom had to be hospitalized for some weird allergic reaction. Nobody could really figure it out, so they ended up discharging her the next night with instructions to go for allergy testing as an outpatient, but the whole episode was kind of crazy. I'm not really sure what happened, but over the course of two and a half days, her right eye started to swell up quite a bit and her right cervical lymph node (the glands in your neck that swell when you get a cold or something) went nuts. When the eye got so bad that it was almost closed shut, she went to the hospital. She ended up being admitted to my floor which was kind of good. I mean, it was weird since I had her roommate as a patient, but I know that she got the fast track and a little bit of extra attention since many of the physicians knew she was my mom. Little by little the right eye's swelling came down, but then the left eye started up. It was so strange, but there was really nothing much to do with it since the CT scans came up negative for anything adventitious with her brain or glands. So she was discharged and since then life has almost been normal... except for the gallstones they found on her CT scan and the thyroid mass that she has to get a biopsy of at the beginning of November....

Sigh. There's been so much going on that I thought nothing else new was going to come up until this thyroid and gallbladder thing got cleared up. I mean, how much shit can go wrong all at once? But then last week my mom was up late and started poking around in the kitchen. She decided to open the freezer for a late-night snack and one of my pre-packed lunches for work came flying out on some kind of suicide mission and attacked her right shin and ankle. I never realized how dangerous frozen potatoes and broccoli could be until recently, but they gave her one hell of a bruise. Actually, it looks more like half of a baseball under the skin, painted a lovely array of purples, reds and blues. And it's painful-- oh so painful. She's having trouble walking and is almost on the verge of tears at all times. And we were all so concerned that we had her go for x-rays and an ultrasound with doppler to check if there was a clot.

Well, the report from the doppler study came back that things on that end were fine, and I'd gotten to see her films from the x-ray, and all of the bones of her shin and feet were perfect so I'm almost 100% there's no fracture... but she's finding it really hard to believe that it's just a bad bruise.

I had plans to go to Boston Tuesday through Thursday of this week before I work Friday and leave the country on Saturday, but I had to call my trip to visit Matt off to take care of mom and drive her to her appointments and stuff. I mean, I'm always here for her, but I'm really quite cranky because of it. And I'm having a really hard time not eating everything in the house. So today when I was done picking her up from her appointments, I drove myself to the store for some retail therapy, which helped a little. Then I went to the video store to rent some movies for tonight and tomorrow night. Then I came home and checked my savings account balance, and seeing all the interest I earn monthly makes me smile every time, so I guess I'm cheering up a little.

Sigh. Tomorrow she has an angioplasty scheduled for her hemodialysis graft so I've got big plans to take care of her after that, and I volunteered to teach her class on Saturday morning so she won't be docked another day's pay since she's called out sick for the last two weeks between being hospitalized and then this newest injury... and then I'm leaving the country for a week in three days and I'm so nervous to leave since all of this crap is going on. Double sigh.

I really hope life settles down soon.

Almost International

I can't believe my trip to Ireland with Susan is coming up so soon! We've been waiting patiently for months and months, and on Saturday night this vacation is coming to fruition!! I've got my passport, I'm in the process of packing my bags, travel insurance and tickets are set... this is so exciting!

I'll be back on the 28th (I think), so pretty soon after that I hope to post all kinds of photographs and stories about the amazing things I saw and did with my buddy! We're going on a tour for the first couple of days and then before we fly home we've got two days to ourselves in Dublin, so I'm kind of excited about shopping, going to the Guinness Brewery and the Jameson Distillery and all sorts of other things. I can't wait to tell all you Noodlers about it!

Doody Duty

I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I don't think I was prepared for it to happen while I was wearing a new set of scrubs with crisp white pants and a brand new pair of shoes that I'd never put on before.... But alas, it did happen. I got shat on. Big time.

It was a patient who was up for a liver transplant and he was quite sick. When people's livers fail, one of the myriad problems that comes up is that their ammonia levels build up to dangerous levels in the blood. When that happens, mental status changes and someone can go from being clear as day to being extremely confused and combative to even slipping into a coma. I think the normal levels should be somewhere between 10-35 and but one guy's ammonia was up to 168. When that happens, the only way to fix it is with laxatives. Lots and lots of laxatives. Something about the ammonia binding to these laxatives in the gut and being transported out of the body via poop. I don't know what it is, but I've seen it time and time again-- people go from being nuts to almost normal with a good couple of episodes of explosive diarrhea.

So that's what the case was with this guy-- he needed to shit, bad. So, I pumped him full of lactulose, sodium benzoate and goLytely (all terrible products that would make *anybody* shit their pants). And lo and behold, before too long, there was a rumblin' in his tumblin' and he had to go. But he'd been confused, so I'd slapped a diaper on the guy previously, just to be sure. But taking off your underwear and sitting down on the toilet is kind of like a reflex when you've been doing it for 60 years or so, so when this guy had to go, he wouldn't just go in the diaper, he kept screaming about needing to sit on the toilet-- but that ended up taking too much time and while he was trying to tear off the diaper, a tsunami of feces came with it, fell to the floor with a mighty splash, and bounced right off the floor and onto my pants and shoes. Mmmmm. It was actually quite impressive... and if any villages of small insects or rodents had existed on the ground near where we were, I'm convinced we would have heard a loud chorus of high-pitched screams of terror.

Well, whatever. We got the guy cleaned up, and I got a new pair of scrubs to change into from the housekeeping department, I cleaned off my shoes as best I could, and I continued on with the day. The guy ended up getting a little better-- he still needs a liver transplant, but now his mental status is greatly improved, which is good. I hope he gets one soon... he had two near-transplants where the donor was opened up each time but both livers were rejected by the surgical team as not good enough to transplant.

So, that's that. I hope it doesn't happen again anytime soon, but if it does, I'll deal with it like I did this time. Just one thing I'm grateful (greatful maybe? I never can get that one right) about though-- normally I wear those foam clogs with all the ventilation holes in them. And granted I wear them with socks, but they still leave my feet open to spills, which until that point had not yet occurred. But Noodle fans, don't get too upset-- that day was the first day that I'd decided to wear my nice new pair of sturdy *closed* top shoes. See? There is a God!

Bean Town Rocks

Oh my God-- this visit was so much fun. I never realized it before but hanging out with a bunch of dorky guys is a blast!

I ended up leaving home a little late last Thursday (surprise surprise-- I'm so pokey) and hitting a ton of construction and traffic along the way, so I didn't get to Boston until after 5:30pm which was over two hours later than I was supposed to get there. Matt was pissed off and ended up meeting me on the main road leading up to his new apartment so that he could just jump into the car and I wouldn't get lost trying to find his neighborhood and residential street. When I spotted him and pulled over, he threw his books and guitar into my back seat, stuffed himself into the front seat and started directing me towards the hotel where we were meeting Ryan, Jon, Christian and Hiro. We got there just about six o'clock and it was fine-- we met the guys, went to the hotel rooms to pee, then headed out for the first concert. But it actually turned out that we had almost a half hour to spare, so we stopped into a pub for a drink beforehand, then headed over to the concert hall. The music was like nothing I'd ever heard, and after the opening band was over (that's who the guys had bought the tickets to see) we left, skipping the main concert and headed to a giant bar/lounge/pool place for the rest of the night.

At some point around three we all headed back to the hotel (only after stopping at another bar for a while) and parted so that me and Jon and Christian went via taxi and Matt, Ryan and Hiro walked. My trio got back 40 or so minutes earlier than the others and they couldn't have come in any sooner-- Jon wouldn't shut up and Christian kept farting. When they got in, Matt and I went to our own room and left the guys to their gas and chattiness and didn't hear from them again until Hiro let himself into our room to wake us the next day.

When everyone was up and ready on Friday, the six of us headed out to the Boston Aquarium which was awesome. We saw an IMAX about sharks, heard a lecture about feeding a giant 650 pound turtle to keep it from ramming into divers while they fed the sharks in the huge 24 foot deep tank, played with star fish and sea urchins in a touch-tank, and learned a TON about jellyfish. It was so neat! After that we appropriately went next door for a nice fish dinner at Legal Seafood (ha!). Christian and I were the only ones who wouldn't eat the fish, but it ended up being ok. When we were done, we headed back to the hotel for a little bit, had a brief soak in the hot tub and pool, changed and headed out for Friday night's concert which was also great. Afterwards we ended up going to the same giant bar/lounge place as the night before, except this night ended a bit earlier so we could get a more prompt start on Saturday.

Hiro woke me and Matt up again on Saturday morning, and when we were all set, the lot of us went to the Boston Science Museum for an afternoon of exploration and learning. I've always liked that kind of thing, and Matt had surprised me with a date there once before. It was kind of endearing to watch the guys' faces when they were playing with lasers, mirrors and robots, watching the creation of lightning, and a program on sensory perception tricks. They looked just like little boys discovering science for the first time. It was great!

Later that afternoon, the four guys headed back home to upstate New York and Matt and I headed home to his new apartment. I'd never seen it before since the last two visits we'd had took place at my house and at his parents' house upstate, so I was really happy to see how clean and bright the new place was! I met two of his three roommates (Claudia and Jerry) and really like them a lot. We ate a little bit and hung out a little bit and then headed for the movies where he took me to see Little Miss Sunshine. The movie theater had a little arcade in the lobby so for the first time in what seemed like forever, I got to play DDR! None of my friends ever let me play when we go to a mall or something, so I'd never played the arcade version, and since I'm a fatass the whole house shakes when I try to play it at home, so I haven't been able to do it really since college. And, being that it's my favorite game in the world (except Guess Who with Lee on Jewish holidays) and the sole reason for my having purchased a Play Station 2, I was overjoyed! I mean, I know I looked like an idiot, and I ended up being really rusty and terrible at it, but it was so much fun.

Sunday was my last day in Boston before I had to head back for work on Monday, and I tried to stretch it out. Matt and I ran errands and relaxed a bit. And I tried really hard not to expel my entire large and small intestinal system from out of my rectum. I don't know why I did it, but from Saturday evening until Sunday late morning I ate almost a half pound of roasted garlic cloves. I ate them plain, with olives, with hummus and baba ganouj and guacamole and with pita and they were delicious. But they definitely did a number on my digestive tract-- between the non stop gas and the terrible diarrhea, I was a mess. Matt thought it was funny, but I couldn't believe what was happening-- I couldn't stop! Seriously, I must have passed gas every five minutes for hours and hours on end... and not just little ones either, big, huge, loud roasted garlic scented ones. Ugh!

Matt probably couldn't wait to get rid of his incredibly stinky girlfriend and I had to head back so I wouldn't be completely exhausted for work the next day, so about seven o'clock I headed home. It was such a good weekend I wished it wouldn't end... but I also knew that in just about two weeks I'll be leaving for my vacation with Susan to Ireland. So many good things going on, I can't wait!

Sooner Than Planned

I ended up leaving my necklaces at Laura's apartment on my last visit and I was going crazy without them. So, since visiting Laura is always such a treat and because I didn't want her to stick my jewelry in the mail, I planned a trip up to see her for when Susan came to visit. And Susan and Laura get along well too, so that was even a bonus.

Susan ended up coming a few Wednesday nights ago after I was done with work. When I got home from the hospital and out of the shower, we sat around and chatted until I was about to fall asleep, at which point we relocated to my room for the evening. In the morning we ran errands, went out for a late lunch, then drove to New Haven in the early evening to meet up with Laura and her roommates Leila and Abby for dinner. Leila already had plans, but Abby was free, so when we were all hungry, we trooped a couple of blocks away to a Vietnamese restaurant for a lot of delicious vegan food accompanied by sweet bubble tea.

When we were done eating the restaurant owner kindly asked us to leave. Heh. It was only just after 9pmish, but they are a family establishment and close fairly early at night. So we paid up and walked back to the apartment with full bellies and light hearts. Susan and I stayed another hour or so and then headed home.

The next morning we tried to stop by the travel agent's office since our trip to Ireland is coming up in less than a month and we still don't have our tickets and crap from her... but the office was closed. So instead, we went to the diner for breakfast and some last chats and hugs before Susan had to head home to make an evening flight to Florida.

It was such a nice visit with everyone, and I got my necklaces back so I feel infinitely better. Yay! And while I don't have any firm plans for when I'll see Laura next, my next visit to Susan will (hopefully) be for Yom Kippur dinner with her kid brother this coming Monday night.

Monday cannot come soon enough, if you ask me.

(Ps- This all took place on September 21st, which was the same day as my momentous hair cut, but since the photos I'd put into this post showed me with short hair, I couldn't post it until after my latest trip to Boston at the beginning of October since the short hair was going to be a surprise for Matt. And I also couldn't post it out of sequence from my "Doing The Deed" post because that would be silly. Hence all the late posts. Sorry folks, but that's life. Get over it.)

Doing The Deed

No, it's not what you think. It's actually that finally after years and years I grew the balls to cut off my hair on September 21st and donate it all to Locks Of Love. Phew!

And for all of you Noodle fans who are curious about how it happened, here's a blow-by-blow:

When I went to synagogue for Rosh Hashanah services, my rabbi (who'd been tipped off by my mother about what I'd done) asked if it had been a religious experience to help someone with their self esteem the way I had with my donation. I held my stomach in mock indigestion and told him that it had not, in fact, been a religious experience-- and to be quite honest, I told him that it had been a nauseating experience... but one that I'm very proud of nonetheless.

So it's done. My hair is 12 inches shorter than it has been in over 12 years (not since that terrible chin-length fiasco my mother suggested when I was 13 and which started my boycott on regular haircuts that I've stuck with ever since), but I really like it a lot. Now, I can't wait to grow it long and do it all over again, and I'm almost positive that Susan will have to accompany me for moral support the next time as well!