I'm Such A Fatass

It's true. Completely ridiculous. I'm so fat. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym with my friend from work and then we're going to go to a Weight Watchers meeting. Or the other way around. But either way, both of those activities are going to occur.

You know what I think is funny though? I think I have like the opposite of the body image issues that someone with anorexia struggles with. I mean, I look into a mirror and I'm like "wow-- not bad," when in reality I think my physique compares to that of a large sea mammal. Sigh. I'm big, and I need to self motivate in order to change from a manatee into a... um... miniature manatee? But change will happen, I'm sure.

I really need it, too. I haven't been going to the gym and all I'm doing lately is getting fatter and fatter with more and more health problems being served to me on a plate by my doctors. High blood pressure, high cholesterol... being too close to becoming a diabetic for my own comfort, and taking all kinds of medications that a 25 year old should not have to take. I'm sick of it and I'm ready for change. So it starts now!

I can't wait to see the results.

Carbo-Loading

Because I'm about to run a marathon? No. Because I'm trying to bulk up for a heavyweight championship? Almost. Because I'm PMSing and don't feel like using any other outlet? Bingo!

Today was my first day off after a hellish schedule of one day on, one day off (when I went back to New Haven just four days after my last visit), three days on, one day off... now I'm trying to gear up for another two days on before my next day off.

I had to wake up early again today though because I had to do a repeat renal ultrasound at 7am, this time with doppler of my renal veins and arteries. When I got home at 8:15am, I ate breakfast, then went to sleep at 9am and didn't wake up until 2pm when I had to pee. At that point I was like, "geez-- if I don't wake up now, I'll never get to bed tonight." So I forced my eyes open and went downstairs just so I could roam the house, raid the fridge and make one last trip outside to go to the store for the sole purpose of purchasing tater tots. Yikes.

So much for going to the gym and watching what I'm eating.

Right now I'm drinking a ton of water though, kind of in the hopes that I can flush all the crap I've just eaten out of my body. Wish me luck.

Oddly Satisfying

Don't you have those things that just make you happy for no real explainable reason? You know, they're kind of weird and a little socially unacceptable... but they just please you so much? You know the ones-- those oddly satisfying little idiosyncrasies that other people just don't get.

Anyway, without giving away too much about myself (because I haven't done that already??), one of those oddly satisfying moments for me is any moment that involves the output of gaseous materials from my many bodily orifices.

I think that's why I'm so pleased that I turned up as hit #2 for some poor soul's search for "farting at the gym."

Score!

I Heart New Haven

And Yale. And clearly hanging out with Laura. And going to get Bubble Tea doesn't hurt either. And it's fun to see Mr. Klang and Sharon, too!! It was a short visit, but a good one, and here are the photos to prove it. Notice Laura's concentration face in the one where the three of them are working on a crossword puzzle. We're such old farts.

I'm actually planning to go back to Yale on Thursday after my *second* renal ultrasound at 7 that morning. This time Andrew will probably be there, and I estimate that we're going to have a blast hanging out. I can't wait!

Such A Crybaby

And it wasn't just because I'm a weenie-- it was because another one of my patients died. Sigh. I think that brings the grand total to like five or something in 9 months. It wasn't because I liked the patient, either. Actually, I considered him to be particularly irritating and I ended up giving him a lot of nursing care leading up to the incident, but I really didn't want to be in the room. He was so annoying! So why did I cry? Well, I think it had to do with the fact that at the end of it when everyone realized that our efforts weren't going anywhere and the physicians called his time of death, I looked over at one of my coworkers who I'd previously had a tiny spat with (who had worked her butt off with me in that room during the whole of it) and noticed that her cheeks were wet. That was really it... but oh well.

One of the nursing administrators present gave me a squeeze, asked if I was ok, and wanted to know if that had been my first patient who'd gotten sick like that and died. I choked out a "no!" which led to a kind of knowing laugh from her and then a hug from my previously pissed-at-me coworker.

This certainly wasn't my first patient death... but I hope it's my last.

Back Home For Now

So I'm home, and this past weekend was a huge success. So much fun! Here's a rundown of what I did for the last couple of days:

Friday day-- shuffle around the house realizing I'd rather be playing poker than staying home alone on a Friday night
Friday afternoon-- get into my car and drive
Friday night-- poker night with Robin, Matt (the roommate), Miguel, Jennifer Annifer, Craig+Susan, and me. Brian was there for a few minutes, but basically stayed just long enough so that he could say hi and bye to me.
Saturday day-- wine tour at Seneca Lake with friends... what a blast!
Saturday night-- chill out with Susan time
Sunday day-- oversleep and miss church, make it to Telefund luncheon
Sunday afternoon-- drive all over Bing trying to find someplace to eat that's actually open on Sundays
Sunday night-- drive upstate to hang out with Matt's friends (sans Matt)
Monday day-- errands, bubble tea, hang out with old teachers
Monday afternoon-- speak at nursing school class
Monday night-- hang out with a ton of friends spread out between a cafe, a bar (complete with shuffleboard!) and my and Susan's hotel room
Tuesday day-- errands, say hi to more people I used to do nursing stuff with, visit old coworkers/preceptors at STD clinic @ Bing Health Department
Tuesday afternoon-- drive home

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I have to work tomorrow and Thursday and then magically I'm off again for another five days with big plans to drive right back upstate for a visit with Matt in his native neighborhood rather than in Boston. I don't know how it happened, but it's amazing. And thinking about it, I don't really care that when I finish my second long stretch off I'll have a really shitty schedule for two and a half weeks because at the end of that, I've got 11+ days off for the first of my annual vacation weeks... so it's all good! Fixing up the upstate home and a long-overdue trip to Buffalo are on the schedule for that part of June, and then I have no idea what's coming up next. Hopefully it'll be just as good as these last couple of weeks though.

What A Dork

Susan says: "I wonder why I just checked your blog for an update on this weekend when I'm fully aware that you are both sitting right here next to me and that you haven't done anything but hang out with me these last couple of days. I'm such a dork."

Indeed.

Old As Noodles

That's right-- I am officially a quarter-century old.

I know, I know, things could be worse... But I'm still not excited about getting older. I think maybe the only two things that are positive about my birthday are that #1, I'm not dead, and #2, I can now rent cars without a hassle or huge extra expense. Other than that, I got nothing.

Anyway, I just worked three days and now I'm off for five (which is amazing!) and tonight I'm going upstate to Bing to see some friends and speak at a class on Monday evening. Good stuff.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!