Nothing But Moping

Fast few days indeed. On my way to Matt's house this morning I hit an icy patch on route 17 west, lost control of the car, wound up going into the right-side embankment, tore up the passenger side and both fenders/bumpers hitting and bouncing off both front and back corners on rocks, bent the right rear axle in almost 45 degrees and wrecked the entire wheel, I must have done all the wrong things even though I knew not to hit the breaks or freak out, but I couldn't help it, and I overcompensated to the left, did a 180 and slid sideways across all lanes of 17 and down the grass median facing eastbound.

Somehow I managed not to hit my head on anything or even hurt my neck... my seatbelt was on and I wasn't going that fast, the airbags did not deploy, and when the car finally stopped sliding through the muddy median and after I got off the phone with 911, I walked out without a scratch on me. The car, on the other hand, might have to get scrapped. Depends on what the insurance says versus the bluebook value blah blah blah. I mean, the engine is still good... and the transmission, though parts of the exhaust are all beat up now and I wrecked the suspension... and the body's torn to shit... but it's my little Civic! So sad...

But again, it's just a car. The outcome could have been much worse. All in all, I'd say someone was looking out for me today because about 500 feet further west was a really steep part where there was a terrible hill with about a 40 foot drop to the highway going eastbound. If I'd lost control just a touch further than where I'd been, I would have bounced off the embankment, gone right through the divider railing thing, rolled the car over down the hill and have been killed, possibly crashing into and/or killing the people in the opposing direction. Phew. I really was one lucky lady.

When the trooper came, he asked if I was ok, told me he'd have to fill out an accident report and then asked me for my license, registration and insurance card. Then he asked if I was afraid of dogs, and when I answered no, he invited me to wait in his warm trooper car. When I got in I was faced with the fiercest looking police dog I've ever seen. He was huge and he had monstrous looking fangs! But as soon as I sat down, he gave me slobbery dog kisses all over my face and clearly considered me to be a friend (the dog, not the trooper). Phew again! I love dogs but normally don't like them licking my face, but something about all the upset and my adrenaline and shaken self and all of my tears made me realize that a little loving kindness (if even from a fierce-looking-but-infinitely-cuddly cop dog) was just what I needed to help calm down.

So the officer did his paperwork, I got the rest of my crap out of the car, the tow guy came to haul it away on a flat-bed truck, and I got a lift to a nearby diner where I waited for four hours for my parents to come and get me at a roadside diner. One waitress there took pity on me and gave me lots of hot coffee and wouldn't take any money for it, and then gave me a lift to another diner when the one I was in was closing and my parents still had another hour left on their trip. Her name was Michelle and she was a very kind soul (thanks, Michelle!).

Hours and hours later my parents arrived to get their sad daughter. It normally wouldn't have taken that long... it was only 102 miles away from my house, but right after I crashed, the weather got worse and the roads up there weren't being plowed... so the three of us got into my dad's car, drove to the tow station to talk with Fred the tow guy, got some more crap out of my car, and then started on home, which took another good couple of hours.

And here I am now, alive but sad. I mean, what happened today was noone's fault, but I still feel a little weird and guilty, and incredibly sorry for myself. Matt almost came to pick me up when I called him, saying that he'd fly me home at the end of the weekend, but my parents freaked out and said they wanted me home... so here I am doing nothing but pacing my house, crying and moping when all I wanted to do was to be upstate with the guys.

Sigh. Why can't my life ever be simple?