An Inside Look

Sometimes I just want to post my IM conversations... and not to bite off of this one blog that I've been addicted to as of late, but they're just too funny not to share every once in awhile. Ok, well, maybe they're only funny to me, but I want to share them anyhow. And really, I totally have just bitten off that other lady's blog.

PS- It's not demonstrated here as well as in some of our other conversations, but try to notice the paralleling of conversation topics here. With Kate, this is a normal occurrence. We will both talk (talc) for hours and will continue to maintain an immaculate separation in subject material for the duration of the discussion. Notice also that I try to throw sex into every conversation in which I participate. Quite humorous, really.

PPS- I was not really sure if I should post this IM or not. It's somewhat personal and highly insightful into my inner workings. But hey, if not to share about my life, then what's the point of this blog anyway?

So here goes:

Kate: so the nap thing didn't pan out like i'd hoped
Me: Oh no?
Me: I still really want a smooch, by the way. The really nice kind where you sort of hungrily attack the other person's face and there's a lot of full-body contact and passionate hand movements.
Me: Complete with yum yum noises.
Kate: oh man, i could totally go for that
Me: Where's my man?
Kate: far far away
Me: ugh
Kate: where's mine?
Me: In my vagina
Me: as we speak.
Me: and let me tell you-- he's great!
Kate: oh
Kate: well when you're done just send him over my way
Me: Sure thing, pal.
Kate: haha
Me: So-- has Dave emailed you back yet??
Kate: not yet
Kate: he could still be in class and not have checked it yet
Me: Right. Or think you're a weirdo.
Kate: or that
Me: I spent 20 minutes this morning inspecting my naked breasts from all angles in the mirror while I was lying down to see what they'd look like if someone walked past Matt's bedroom in his Bing apartment after he left the door open when going to the bathroom post coitus.
Kate: does he leave the door open?
Me: Sometimes. Like, sometimes he shuts it, and sometimes he pushes it closed and tries to let gravity help bring the door all the way to the closed position. But sometimes I think he forgets, especially if everyone's gone for the weekend, or it's the middle of the night or really early in the morning.
Kate: right
Me: But sometimes I think he might purposely leave it open.
Kate: ooh la la
Me: Which is weird since he's mostly pretty protective of other people seeing me unclad.
Kate: right
Me: But he also knows that I'm also *almost* an exhibitionist, which makes me wonder if it's purposeful or not.
Kate: gotcha
Me: Why, do you think that's weird?
Kate: no
Me: Oh.
Kate: i'm just not used to people being so frank about their sexual activities
Me: Oh.
Me: <--- frank about her sexual activities Kate: <--- well aware Me: Matt told me the last time I was up for a visit that Andrew (our friend/his roommate) asked if he was going to see Matt's white ass up in the air again this year.
Kate: lol
Me: I asked him what that meant and he said it meant that Andrew had walked by Matt's window while we were fooling around last year and apparently we'd left the blinds open and Andrew had gotten an eyefull. Ugh.
Kate: lol. oh man that's rough
Me: It's so strange. The idea of any of his roommates walking past his room and seeing me lying there half naked kind of excites me, but given the hint of a chance that someone actually saw us screwing and I get all weirded out.
Kate: lol
Me: How come, do you think?
Kate: i have no idea. i can't imagine
Kate: maybe that takes the fantasy out of it
Kate: if someone's just looking at you then they can imagine all kinds of things
Kate: but if they actually see you having sex then they know what it looks like and there's nothing left to imagine
Me: That sounds like a perfect explanation. Did I tell you my mom saw Matt naked the last time he came down here? That definitely takes the fantasy out of our family dinners together when he comes for a visit.
Kate: lol, that's rough
Kate: i don't think that guy dave is gonna write me back
Me: Why not?
Kate: i just have a feeling about it
Kate: cuz it's kinda weird
Me: Yeah, kind of. But it's also not so weird that I've never heard of people doing it. If he's really as interesting and enigmatic as you were made to believe from his classroom ejaculations, then he'll write you back.
Me: And if he's a boring sonofagun, then he won't.
Me: And if he doesn't, you'll know that your life is better without him. So there.
Me: Man, I should be paid for advice like this.

... a couple of hours later...

Kate: so, dave wrote back to me
Me: Hello, did you read it yet?
Kate: i did
Me: And?
Kate: and it was cool, he thanked me for the compliment and then said it was an opinion by blake and went on to describe what he had read elsewhere and that i should read it, and then said again that he really appreciated the compliment, and then ended it wiht see you on friday
Kate: so i totally have an intellectual crush on him now. it was like a teacher's response except for the thanks for the compliment part
Me: I think you're great :-)
Kate: thanks
Me: Sure thing.
Kate: so now i wonder if he's gonna look to see who i am when the prof calls role
Me: You should look amazing on Friday, in case of that happening.
Kate: lol, break out my sexy black dress
Me: And raise your hand and loudly state "present!" and then growl in that sexy glglrgrrrlllrrrggglll kind of way...
Me: ...and look right at the guy and lick your juicy lips
Kate: and the professor will either be turned on or ask if i'm sick.
Kate: i would do it if i were drunk. maybe i should drink before class
Me: and then do one of those crossing your leg things like in that movie where that lady opens her legs for a second and then crosses them the other way. That's hot.
Kate: yeah i dunno about that
Me: So then if you do that, your intellectual crush will know that not only are you smart, but you're a dish, and you've got the goods to prove it!
Kate: i haven't shaved my legs in a year, that's definitely not conventionally sexy
Me: I think it's sexy! Mine are hairy, too, remember?
Kate: i know
Kate: that's why i say conventionally
Me: haha
Kate: right
Kate: dave is an anthro & english student. i just looked him up
Me: Stalker.